Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health condition that involves intrusive thoughts and compulsions that interfere with daily life. OCD can affect all areas of life, including relationships between people.
One type of OCD that can impact relationships is relationship OCD (ROCD). This is when your close relationships, usually with your romantic partner, parent, or child, become the focus of your symptoms. You might experience obsessive thoughts and compulsions that are deeply distressing and time-consuming, and that disrupt the relationship and your ability to function as an individual.
However, with OCD treatment, support, and effective communication, it’s possible to build a strong and fulfilling connection.
Examples of such obsessive thoughts are: Is my partner the one for me? Is my partner really in love with me, or are they just pretending? Is it possible to get past my partner’s flaws? Am I really in love?
Examples of related compulsions include testing your love for your partner by looking at pictures of other attractive people, excessively asking for reassurance from your partner or others, researching the topic of relationships excessively and in some cases pacing, humming a tune, or doing a gesture compulsively.
Lack of understanding of OCD and symptoms like these, can cause stress and create a feeling of distance between partners.
In general, a lot of anxiety can be triggered by OCD symptoms or by worrying about how OCD might affect the relationship. In this article, we will discuss the challenges of OCD in relationships.
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Ways to Handle OCD in a Relationship
A person with OCD can still contribute to a successful relationship. Although living with OCD can make you feel self-conscious and ashamed of your thoughts and behaviours, especially if you think others will judge you or reject you, you should know that you are not alone, and that OCD is not your fault. It is a treatable condition that affects millions of people around the world.
You should not blame yourself or feel guilty for having OCD. Instead, you should seek professional help and learn to accept yourself as you are. You should also try to find supportive people who understand what you are going through and who can offer you compassion and encouragement.
Living with OCD can make you feel the need to hide your symptoms from others, such as counting, hand-washing, checking, or repeating. However, hiding your symptoms can be exhausting and stressful, and it can prevent you from getting the help you need. Instead of hiding your symptoms, try to be honest and open with your loved ones and your therapist.
Explain to them what OCD is and how it affects you and ask them for their support and understanding and let them know how they can help you cope with your symptoms.
Living with OCD can make you experience panic attacks or related symptoms, such as sweating, trembling, racing heart, shortness of breath, or nausea. These symptoms can be very frightening and overwhelming, and they can make you feel embarrassed or paralyzed. However, you should remember that panic attacks are not dangerous, and that they will pass.
You should also know that you can cope with them by using some simple techniques, such as breathing deeply, relaxing your muscles, focusing on something positive, or talking to someone you trust.
If you have difficulties with sex and sexual functioning, such as low libido, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, or vaginismus which can be caused by intrusive thoughts, obsessions, compulsions, anxiety, or medication side effects, you should remember that these difficulties are common and treatable, and that they do not mean that you are inadequate or unlovable.
Living with OCD can make you face uncertainty and stress in dating, such as doubting your partner’s feelings, worrying about cheating, or obsessing over details. These issues can make you feel insecure, anxious, or unhappy in your relationship. However, you should know that you can cope with them by trusting your partner, setting boundaries, communicating regularly, and making plans for the future.
Ways to Help a Partner with OCD
Living with a person with OCD can pose many challenges for both yourself and your partner, but there are also ways to cope and make a relationship work.
Be open to talking about it. If you notice your partner’s compulsions or they tell you about their obsessions, see if you can react with compassion instead of shock. When they know they can be open with you without being judged, they will feel more able to talk with you about what they’re going through.
It’s OK to acknowledge the situation and talk with the person — but try to avoid pushing them to talk about it. They may find it hard to open up, especially at the start. It’s not helpful to expect them to tell you everything immediately, or to expect that they will start managing their symptoms right away.
Offering a supportive environment means avoiding criticising your partner’s behaviour. Try accepting them as they go through their routine but encourage them to take steps toward improvement.
Most importantly, educate yourself. The best thing you can do is research the disorder as much as possible and understand it thoroughly, because often not knowing about the disorder creates many of the tensions that add to your relationship. You can also seek professional help for both yourself and your partner, and learn about effective treatments and coping strategies for OCD.
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